First Day of Kindergarten

Emma, my sweet little five year old, was so excited for her first day of kindergarten. I woke her up at 7:15 and she was a little slow to wake, but as soon as I told her "It's time to get ready for your first day of school!" her eyes opened wide and so did her smile. She was, without a doubt, ready to be a student.

As I got her bathed and ready, she kept asking "Is it time to go yet?" I had to remind her that clothing would be a necessary thing to attend school, and that we couldn't leave before getting shoes on and having a good breakfast. The breakfast, however, could hardly be described as nutritious. Cocoa Pebbles. But I did sneak in a piece of whole wheat toast and a tiny glass of milk as I always do.

I put her hair in two pigtails that reach past the middle of her back. I didn't want to do anything too grown up. That way she would still seem like my little tiny baby girl.

We took some pictures in the back yard before we left. I loaded her into the back seat of the Sequoia without a car seat and drove the half mile to Art City Elementary. I wasn't emotional at all until we pulled in to the school parking lot. We stopped to take a single picture in front of the school before going in. With her little hand in mine and with her shiny new brown with blue polka dot book bag in the other hand, we headed for Room 4, Mrs. Sabey.

The small world we live in was once again in effect. Mrs. Sabey and her husband and son know Erik's family quite well. I spoke with Mrs. Sabey for a few minutes and while I did, Emma was already finding a place to hang her book bag and looking for anything in the room with her name on it. She was already worried about being left out, and she informed us that she didn't get a paper. Mrs. Sabey let her know that the papers would be going home with her at the end of the school day and Emma was satisfied. I took one more picture, gave Emma about 5 hugs and more kisses and then asked her, "Are you ready for me to leave you yet?" For about one second, she looked a tiny bit worried, then quickly said "Bye Mom!" I couldn't let her go that fast, so I reminded her that Dad would be coming to get her, that she should listen and be good, and told her I loved her. She gave me one last hug and I was out the door, walking down the hall with my camera swinging from my arm and tears in my eyes.

I felt a strange comradery with all the parents I met in the hall and I wanted to be a good parent, a good neighbor, a good member of the community. I'm one of them now--a grown up--but a grown up who has some growing up to do still. I drove to work with the radio off, contemplating my life as a parent. I need to be a better one. Emma deserves a better one. I want her to go to school and be proud of who her mom is and for me to deserve her love and high regard. I hope that the demands of school will be a catalyst for me to become like my own mother, whom I never doubted and was always proud to call "Mom."

Pictures are posted here: http://picasaweb.google.com/wendy.busath/EmmaSFirstDayOfKindergarten02#